The title
is all that you need to know about this movie.
The really
daft premise, coming from Seth Graham Smith who sold millions of copies writing
“Pride & prejudice & zombies” so maybe he is into something, it’s the
real deal breaker here.
Maybe there
is a way to develop it sensibly and coherently but it never happened here,
instead we got an incredibly dumb plot which not only is completely unrelated
to any sensible history of the period, is also completely missing any internal
coherence.
Maybe it’s
because I know a thing or two about history but normally I don’t care too much
about historical accuracy. Plot and fun are much more important. The problems
start when the inaccuracies are so blatant that I can’t pretend I’m not seeing
them, when very important plot junctions are decided with ploys that are
nominally astute but in reality doesn’t make any sense.
If it was
at least fun it could be all forgivable but instead we got some of the dumbest
stuff ever. I normally don’t spoil anything of the movie but it’s really
obvious that Lincoln somehow ends up hunting vampires. He acquires incredible fighting
skills with which he can single handedly defeat dozens of vampires. The secret
of his supernatural haste and strength? None other than the power of truth! He
is super powerful because he is Honest Abe!
Even little
kids deserve something better thought out.
The
director is Timur Bekmambetov, who made the incredible “Wanted” in 2008, and so
the fandom had very high hopes for this one. Sadly the failure is not limited
to the plot.
While some of
the action scenes bear the trademark blend of insane kinetic fights and crazy
concept the rest of the movie is marred by the oh so American reverence for
Lincoln.
I
understand that he is one of the patron saints of American democracy but you
can’t picture Lincoln straight while doing Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.
What you get this way is a movie grinding to a halt every single time Lincoln
open his mouth. It gets so so boring.
At least we
still got the very underrated Rufus Sewell as the main bad guy.
Conclusion:
A so bad it is good movie, good train wreck value.
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