Cinema Review: Bad Teacher

Cameron Diaz is Elisabeth Halsey, a bad teacher, a very bad teacher. There is nothing else really important about the plot of this movie.

Almost a decade ago we had “Bad Santa” with a similar title and a similar premise (a very bad Santa). I wonder if it means that we are seeing the start of a franchise with an eventual “Bad Priest” or “Bad Doctor” waiting for us down the line. I shudder at the idea.

Anyway the movie in itself is not that bad, it suffers from a scarcity of really funny moments but the concept in itself is solid enough.

Cameron Diaz really goes all in with her performance and, really, if you find the idea of her smoking pot funny go and see it. Sadly the rest of the characters are undeveloped with a Jason Segel appearance totally wasted.

DVD review: Resident Evil Afterlife

The zombie apocalypse is upon us. Alice (Milla Jovovich) is still trying to gather up survivors while the evil umbrella corporation is yet again making experiments on them.

The Resident Evil franchise (also known as the franchise who doesn’t want to die) keeps getting worse and worse with every iteration. It actually reached a point where is so bad that it is actually good. Like when Alice is looking desperately to find somebody still alive because in the post apocalyptic world there are more Umbrella henchmen than free human being Or the cameos at the end that we had to look up on Wikipedia. This movie really makes no sense.

On the other hand I must admit every Resident Evil movie makes more money than the last one. I sincerely wonder if all the movie goers got the joke. The alternative is that out there exist a fan base that eagerly waits for the next iteration.

There is still a certain fascination in watching Milla Jovovich kicking zombie’s ass but the action, even the big set pieces, is silly and badly choreographed.

The main bad guy, Albert Wesker, is a video game villain in the worst possible way (We can tell that the main villain is stupid when he start shooting random henchmen just to prove he is evil).

I know that those are the modern descendants of the B movie of old but really for every nice B movie that we fondly remember there are hundreds that were terrible.

Cinema Review: Green Lantern

Cocky pilot Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds) receives a wish ring from a dying alien and is therefore enlisted in the intergalactic police force known as the Green Lanterns.

Green Lantern is an old superhero, he was born in the fifties, with an even older concept. Probably is not easy to adapt him to a modern concept but certainly the people who did make this movie failed completely and on many different levels in this Endeavour.

The main mistake is to make this story an origin story, we lose time and precious budget money in a top gun like sequence just to establish that yes Hal Jordan is a cocky test pilot but he has also his problems, mainly dad’s issues.

This probably stems from a desire to replicate Spiderman formula but really is a blatant mistake. Hal Jordan is a plain character, he is like superman, created in a more innocent age. Is origin is defined by what he does not by what he is like Spiderman. This is not the selling point of the character. His selling point is his power. He got a power ring, he can do anything and fly into space.

Now of course is possible to modernize a character and invent a new interesting origin and problematic personality. Is even possible to do it right I suppose but the filmmakers here really did a lazy and approximate job. They introduced dad issues, a nephew, a brother, a whole family and forgot about everything after 20 minutes.

Also the comedic sidekick is introduced in the form of a geeky friend then almost forgotten for the rest of the movie.

A lot of time is devoted to our hero relationship with the token female Carol Ferris (Blake Lively) but alas the role is underwritten and the performance of the TV actress underwhelming.

Not everything is so terrible tough.

The secondary villain is the terribly outdated Hector Hammond (Peter Sarsgaard), basically he got psychic powers and so he is saddled with an enormous head, but the role is imbued with a strange B movie charm. He is a direct descendant of the creature from the black lagoon and when he complained that Hal Jordan got the cool power ring while he got the ugly head I couldn’t help but cheer for him.

The space scenes are really good. All the Oan stuff (Oa is the head quarter of the Green Lanterns) is interesting. We see there a glimpse of the movie they could have made. I still think that a movie about Green lantern going about in the space doing stuff could be really fun. We don’t need origin stories or psychological problems to root for somebody. Jack Sparrow doesn’t have one, neither James Bond. Can you imagine a movie where the young James Bond talks about how he was bullies at school? Terrible!

The CGI of course is excellent, very well made with seamless transition. The visuals on space and in the alien planets are gorgeous. Probably the main selling point of the whole movie.

Anime review: Lovely Complex

Lovely Complex tells the love story between two students Risa Koizumi, who is very tall, and Atsushi Otani, who is very short. The height difference is our entry point in their relationship and the peculiar twist of their love story. Apparently is very difficult for tall girls in Japan to find a boy, not that I know anything about this particular problem being on the opposite end of life spectrum.

Anyway this is a Romantic Comedy (Maybe I should say LOVantic COMedy, do you get it? LOVely COMplex, LOV-COM?). A very conventional one I must add. They dislike each other intensely, then she understand she loves him but complications ensues. This seems all very easy but watching this I realized how rare a good romantic comedy is those days, and not for lack of trying. Hollywood seems to give us at least five of those every year, mainly with Jennifer Anniston, and they are all not very funny and not very romantic either.

The mix of romantic and comedy elements that Lovely complex achieves so well is really difficult to obtain. Even when the fun part is actually funny the romantic part is often forced in. It’s like lighting in a bottle. This makes Lovely complex something special. A story were the fun and the romantic part are all very good and support each other, making for a better whole.

It is not without defects, the male protagonist is so stubborn that after a while we were actively wishing for her to stop chasing him and go with one of her others suitors. In spite of this Lovely Complex is a nicely crafted story that brought a smile to many evenings.

DVD review: The other guys

Allen Gamble (Will Ferrel) and Terry Hoitz (Mark Wahlberg) are the titular other guys, AKA the guys who sits in the background while the heroes cops, the Rock and Samuel L. Jackson playing yet another version of their on screen persona, save the day. One day the heroes die in a spectacularly stupid way and so the other guys try to fill their shoes.

The Mckay/Ferrel universe is a very peculiar one. It certainly got a distinctive style with a lot of non sense and a strange mix of naiveté and lurid jokes. “The other guys” is a very good addiction to the rest of their work, it is not “Anchorman” of course but is certainly better than “Stepbrothers”.

The plot revolves around a financial scam and the authors go to great lengths to emphasize how this is a “real” problem while the “Heroes cops” go after petty criminals. While I can’t certainly negate it I must say that this somewhat negate the fun of the movie. If I really want to think about that I have countless choices and if I’m watching a Will Ferrel movie certainly I don’t want to turn on my brain.

The plethora of extras on the DVD gives us a glimpse on their work method. Apparently most of the stuff is improvised at the moment, they do the same scene time after time throwing jokes at the wall to see which one sticks. Even Mark Wahlberg came up with stuff and more than manages to keep the comic pace of the rest of the cast.

Very good stuff for the Will Ferrel lovers out there.

DVD review: Morning Glory

Young producer Becky Fuller, an extremely charming Rachel McAdams, must save her morning news show from cancellation. Her main problem is Mike Pomeroy, a terrific Harrison Ford, a veteran journalist who hates the entertainment part of the program and, anyway, is a terrible human being with all his colleagues.

At his heart this is a very good and solid comedy. It got a fairly new setting with a concept that is really interesting. Considering the insider’s stories that, every now and then, we get from the wonderful world of TV I think that for a comedy this movie is even surprisingly realistic.

The problem is that this concept has been clumsily shoehorned into the usual, and boring, romantic comedy tropes. So we get a useless romantic interest, hints of problem at home and another socially inept protagonist. This dilutes the film’s best parts and moves it from very good to simply good.

What saves it from being in the end just average is an astonishing performance from Harrison Ford. His mean and spirited Mike Pumeroy is a sight to behold and I really hope that Ford chooses more roles like this ones. As an action hero his days are long gone, apart from the occasional Indy outing, but as a character actor I think he can really be invaluable.

Rachel McAdams continues her string of very good but still not great roles. She confirms herself as the best thing to come out of” Mean girls” and is really one good part away from superstardom.

Cinema review: Kung Fu Panda 2

Previously subtitled “The kaboom of doom” this is the followup to the surprise hit of 2008. This movie is self explanatory, is a martial artist Panda. If you are already smiling at the idea go and see it…

Does this movie suffer from “Sequelitis syndrome” (Also known as the law of diminishing returns)?

Not at all. It’s a lovingly crafted movie, with visuals that are both very pretty and stimulating, good animations and of course more martial artists animals. There is not a lot that can be said about it.

What I think is interesting is the reason this is very good while other series (like for example Shrek) went rapidly downhill.

Kung Fu Panda is a concept. Like I said is like James Bond, the story is not really that important, the important part is the kick ass panda. Instead Shrek is a story, is how a recluse finally accepts the outside world and win the girl of his dreams. But when we start making sequels he has to lose everything so he can relive the same story again, and again, and again. We can see why it gets rapidly pathetic.

This is not to say that is impossible to screw up sequels of concepts (I’m looking at you pirates of the Caribbean!), just that a sequel fit them more naturally.

The boss of Dreamworks confirmed that there are other 4 movies planned for this franchise. I couldn’t approve more.