Alien robots are still fighting on our planet…
It wasn’t my intention to see Transformers 3. The first one was bad, the second was worse so really I didn’t even want to see it at home. Then the trailer came and I thought “Those are good looking explosions, maybe I should have a look at it…” After this is a sliding slope, because to get the most out of this is really obligatory to go to the cinema, seeing it at home, and in 2d, is just not the same experience. Is a little unspoken reality that is possible to enjoy a good plot with proper actors even on a small screen where a dumb and stupid movie requires the big screen…
Anyway to the movie.
“Transformers: Dark of the moon” (I imagine Pink Floyd hold the trademark for the Dark side) is a bad movie. I’m not saying that it fails at stuff like plotting, pacing and characterization that we normally ask from movies. I’m saying that Transformers 3 fails at being the dumb, loud cinematic experience that it should be.
The most glaring problem is that for the first 90 minutes of this very long movie (It goes over two hours) nothing of importance happens. Is mainly Shia Labeouf character complaining about stuff. Now don’t get me wrong, Shia Labeouf is not that bad an actor, he actually embody an everyman average person quality that is mostly absent among his peers. The problem is that his character is a complete, absolute, moron! After a while I really wanted to slap him in the face, really hard, to get some sense in his thick head.
He is angry because he waited three full months to get a job while his impossibly hot girlfriend (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley) works for doctor McDreamy of Grey’s Anatomy’s fame? Try the real world for once Sam.
Speaking about the titular token female I don’t know if I should commend Michael Bay for being so upfront in her being simply a teenage wet dream or complain about the blatant sexism of it. Even forgetting it for a moment her character is way over the top. After watching the movie I still have no idea what she does for a living, but it apparently involves going around in skimpy dresses and high heels all the time (even in the middle of a battle with giants robots she keeps her high heels on).
Not everything is that bad of course. The CGI is state of the art, they spent a lot of money on it and it’s easy to see it. The battle of Chicago looks great and is also engaging. Sadly even here this movie has flaws, many flaws.
First of all the director keeps doing slapstick humor even in the most serious situations leading to a jarringly clash of styles where one minute the world is doomed and the next giant robots are slipping around.
A movie about giant alien robots obviously has to problem of giving the humans something meaningful to do. Here there is a vague attempt of making the humans do a low tech assault on the Decepticons (The evil robots) but they forgot to explain it on screen so making it very unclear what they were supposed to accomplish. Regarding that scene is also fascinating how a very awesome scene of a group of men using flight suits look like an afterthought because every spectator thinks that it must be all CGI while in this case they did it for real.
There are a couple of nice plot twist and turns that I honestly didn’t see coming but the movie as a whole is over bloated. Certainly it is better than “revenge of the fallen” but this wasn’t really that hard to do.
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